I'm Terrible at Updates

Okay, I admit it.  I'm terrible at updating this blog.  No excuses, I'm just bad at it.  Good for you if you're still checking up on it, and let me know that you're still out there!  You probably all know this, but my email address is Amanda@tlc.org.za.  Drop me a line-I'd love to hear from you.

 

I'm guessing you all want to know what is going on in my life here at TLC.  To start with the day-to-day stuff, things are really good!  We have a nursery full of 42 babies, which ties the record high for TLC.  Baby boys "HH" and "GG" arrived today, and are now comfortably settled into the Nest.  We had a pretty significant bug go around last week, and although only a few of the babies got sick, it took out nearly all of the volunteers for at least a time.  There are 21 volunteers at the moment, and all but two got sick-not fun at all.  I spent the last two days either in bed or in the bathroom vomiting, but I'm now feeling better, and I'm headed back to work tomorrow.  It's funny how much I miss those babies when I'm out of the nursery for a few days!  On Tuesday, I was made the new Fledgie/Grub section leader.  The woman who proceeded me, Jennifer, is nearing the end of her year here at TLC, and I'm really excited that I was chosen as her replacement.  Although I'm just beginning to understand what my duties are, I'm looking forward to the added responsibility.  Here at TLC, the volunteers are in charge of almost all of the daily functioning of the nursery.  The office staff and the Jarvis family are in charge of the many other logistics of running TLC, and as section leader, it will be my job to be the connection between the office and the nursery.  Additionally, I'm the person who knows each of the babies in my section particularly, so that I can see that each baby is getting his or her individual needs met.  It's exciting and humbling to be trusted with this responsibility. 

 

It seems that lately, every time we've had a baby go home with his or her forever family, there has been a baby waiting to come into our nursery.  However, we have been told to expect change over the holidays.  In South Africa, the entire government shuts down for the holidays between mid-December and mid-January.  Because of this, we don't expect to complete any more adoptions this year, so we won't have any babies going out until the third week in January.  (We're hoping to get one more little girl out…keep your fingers crossed!  Unfortunately, it won't be Hannah.  She'll meet her family at the end of January.)  Babies don't stop coming in, however, so we're expecting between six and eight more babies before the courts re-open, which would bring us way over our current record of 42 babies.  Wish us luck, because we're not sure exactly how this is going to work!  On that note, I'm going to say a fond farewell.  I hope you're all enjoying your holiday season, and that you realize how lucky you are to have wonderful, Northern Hemisphere weather at Christmas time!  Love and miss you all,

Amanda

TLC: A Lesson in Losing Oneself

Babies are selfish.  It's just how they are.  They know very little, but they know when they want their bottle, and they don't care that it's someone else's turn to be fed before theirs.  They want to be held right now, not in ten minutes when the baby currently filling my arms has been comforted. And really, to some extent, isn't that how we all are?  I think one of the biggest lessons in growing up is learning how to put others before oneself.  It just doesn't come naturally to us.  We're intrinsically selfish beings, and it's a constant struggle to consider your own wants and needs and desires to be less important than those of others.  But one of the things that I've discovered in the funny, strange world that is TLC is that it's simply not possible to succeed here and be selfish at the same time.  Honestly, it's not.  When you're in the nursery, there are 42 babies, all convinced that their own needs and wants are the most important things in the world.  If there were 42 mommies here with them, that would be the case; the needs of their babies would take precedence over pretty much anything else.  But there are quite often six or eight or ten babies to every one caregiver in the nursery, and we clearly have to prioritize whose needs are most pressing. With so many babies, it's a constant battle to see that each of them not only gets their basic needs met, but that they're also getting stimulated and challenged and encouraged so that they can grow and develop.  They need that as much as they need food.  Baby Girl "R," who I mentioned in one of my last entries, is a great example of this.  She had her basic needs met when she was at the hospital.  She was fed, her nappy was changed, and she was warm and safe.  But she didn't have anything more than that, and she was beginning to fade away.  Have you ever seen someone with no sparkle in their eye?  Someone whose eyes just look empty?  To see a baby with empty eyes is heartbreaking.  It's so wrong, so fundamentally against the way it's supposed to be, that you can't help but be convicted.  But I look at her now, and my heart wants to rejoice because she's not just surviving here, she's thriving.  She's growing and changing and smiling and laughing.  She engages with the world around her.  She whimpers when you set her down, and will protest if she hasn't been cuddled enough, because now she's beginning to learn what she wants, and how to make her needs and wants known.

With 42 babies, each with their own unique set of pressing needs, who gets prioritized straight to the bottom of the list?  Yeah, I do.  Why?  Because I don't matter.  No, I'm not being self-deprecating.  I know that I'm needed here.  I know that the babies need someone here to take care of them.  But they don't need me.  When they cry, they're not crying for me.  They're crying for someone, and I happen to be the one here to pick them up.  When they're hungry, they don't need me to feed them.  They need someone to feed them, and it doesn't really matter who, as long as their needs are met. These tiny people have so very many needs, and behind every demand that they make for a need to be met is the most complete vulnerability you can imagine.  They literally cannot survive without us. What are my needs compared to the needs of these tiny people who are unable to take care of themselves?  The funny thing is that as soon as I am able to completely let go of myself, to divest myself of my sense of my own importance, I receive more back than I ever could have imagined.  Selflessness is a struggle, but on the rare occasion that I am able to truly devote myself selflessly to these babies, I find that the rewards are so much greater than I ever could have expected.  Why?  Because I wasn't expecting anything at all.  Babies don't say "thank you."  They don't tell you how grateful they are that you changed their dirty nappy.  They probably shriek while you wipe their snotty noses, and sometimes they cry through entire meals.  But it's all worth it when one of them smiles at you.  It's all worth it when you pick up the crying baby and the sound of your voice and the feel of your touch soothes it.  I get more back than I ever dreamed was possible-I am so blessed because I get the opportunity to love them.

Joy

Hannah has a family.  Those words brought tears to my eyes yesterday, and still when I think about it, I get goosebumps.  Hannah has a family.  You see, we didn't think Hannah would get a family.  We didn't think that this wonderful, feisty, curious, precious little girl would ever be adopted.  We didn't think that anyone would be able to see past her developmental delays to the Hannah that we see every day.  When you think of a child being adopted from TLC I'm sure you think of a tiny baby going home with their new parents, and quite often that is the case.  In fact, we got the wonderful news yesterday that three of our baby boys will be going home with their new families by the end of November.  It's wonderful that those parents will get to spend those early months with their child, but the children who are most in need of a mommy and a daddy are the older children, who often have special needs.  Hannah doesn't look good on paper.  She's nearly four years old, and she has some delays and special needs that will be with her for the rest of her life.  But when you meet Hannah you don't see any of that.  You see a child who has exceeded every expectation set for her, and not the milestones that she's missed.  You see a beautiful little girl with a twinkle in her eye, and not the scars on her face.  There is a family somewhere out there who has said that they want Hannah to be their daughter.  They have said that they will love her unconditionally, not matter what her issues.  They've never met her, and I can't wait till they see the smile on her face and they realize what an amazing blessing they have received.  We all know that when Hannah goes, she will leave a huge hole here at TLC.  I will miss her more than I can fathom.  She has a funny way of referring to herself in the third person, and I will miss hearing her say "What you doing to Hannah?"  when I tickle her, but my heart felt like it was lighter than air when I asked her this morning what her exciting news was.  She looked up at me and said "Hannah has a Daddy."  She, of course, has not idea what this actually means in her life.  To her, family is just a word.  For some reason, she's the most excited about getting a daddy, but she has not idea what that means.  And so we're excited for her.  Those of us who love her now are excited for the people who get the privilege of loving her for the rest of her life.  There is a bright future waiting for her, and I feel honored and blessed to have been a part of her past.  Praise God, Hannah has a family!

 

For those of you who are up to saying some prayers, I have a favor to ask.  In South Africa, the courts close from the end of November until the middle of January.  During this time, it's not possible to get a court date, and so no adoptions can be completed.  Hannah turns four in December, and of course we want her to be with her family for her birthday and for Christmas.  Can you please pray that we can get this little girl a court date before the courts close on the 21^st of November?  It would mean so much to me, and to Hannah.

Love and Blessings,

Amanda

New Pictures from Amanda

You were all waiting for this: The Babies

 

While I still haven't figured out how to get pictures sent home, I know you all want to hear some stories about our babies, and although I can't share the details of all of their stories or their names, I know you would all like to hear something about the little ones that I'm taking care of.  So here goes, some stories about our babies. 

 

In my last entry, I mentioned that Keagan and Eric found their forever families last week.  Within days of their departure for their new homes, we got three new babies, and the following week brought us four more, which brings us to a total of 41 babies at the moment!  The first was a newborn, baby boy "Z."  I think I've already mentioned this, but at the beginning of the year, Thea, the woman who started TLC, begins naming the babies who come in with the letter "A," both for boys and girls.  The second boy and girls of the year would have a name beginning with the letter "B" and so on.  Well, this newborn is our 26^th baby boy of the year, and thus has a name beginning with the letter "Z."  Baby "Z" was born to a young mother who was unable to care for him, and thus signed custody over to TLC so that we can find him a family.  When Thea went to the hospital to get him, his mother cried and cried about giving him up, and so the name that Thea gave to him means "tears."  He has settled into the Nest, and although he is a small newborn (around 6 1/2 lbs), he looks HUGE compared to some of our prem babies.  He's a beautiful baby, and it's such a pleasure to care for this precious little guy.  It's so amazing to know that I'll still be here when this guy is finally united with his family. 

 

The next two babies, baby girls "Q" and "R," came together.  (We were so excited to get girls-as you can tell, we've been overtaken by boys lately!)  We got a call from a social worker who said that they had two babies who had been abandoned at the hospital.  We were expecting a pair of newborns, but when Thea arrived she found that both girls were three months old.  They had been kept in the hospital since birth, while the police investigated their abandonment.  I find their story hard to imagine, but I want to share with you the little bit that we know about their time at the hospital.  The hospital that they came from is the largest in the Southern Hemisphere and, like most public hospitals around here, is appallingly understaffed and under-resourced.  Every day, over one hundred babies are born there, and there are only six nurses at any time.  There are only beds for a fraction of the babies and their mommies, so most are kept for only four hours after birth.  These girls were kept in the maternity ward for three months, and it's clear that no one had the time to properly look after them.  For some reason, Baby Girl Q appears to have come through that experience fairly unscathed.  It took only a few days for her to begin smiling at us, and she appears to be delighted to have someone to talk to her and interact with her.  Baby Girl R was not so fortunate.  When we got her back to the nursery and undressed her, we were honestly sickened by what we saw.  She was covered head to toe with a rash that we later found out was a fungal infection.  It would appear that she was rarely, if ever, bathed in the entire three months that she had been there.  Even worse, around her ankle was the same hospital band that had been put on her at birth.  She had obviously grown in three months, and it was so tight that when we cut it off, it tore the skin away too.  When she came she would stare blankly into space with these huge, wide eyes and absolutely no expression on her face.  It broke my heart, and I absolutely fell in love with this tiny little baby who has already experienced such a hard life.  We have spent a lot of time holding this little girl and talking to her and snuggling with her, and she is finally starting to wake up.  Her smiles are rare, but they absolutely brighten my day.  I cannot wait to see what a whole lot of love and attention will do for this little one. 

 

The four babies came in rapid succession.  First was baby boy "Aa" (you can all guess what his name is, right?).  He's a tiny preemie, and we don't know much about him yet, but we're delighted to have him.  Our second baby of last week was actually a toddler, who will keep the name he had before he came to us.  He is around two years old, although we don't know his exact age, as it appears that he was abandoned by his mother.  He came to us incredibly malnourished and speaking no English. (We think that he speaks Zulu, as he talks a lot in a language we don't understand!)  He's beginning to feel comfortable here at TLC, although it's understandably hard for him at times.  We will do our best to get his health problems under control, and then we will hopefully find him a forever family sometime soon.  In the meantime, he's getting lots of food and snuggles, which seem to be doing him a world of good.  The final two babies that came last week also came together.  Baby girls "S" and "T" were both extremely premature babies from the same hospital that baby girls "Q" and "R" came from.  They are 5 and 3 months old respectively, although each weighs no more than 4.5 lbs (the conversions from Metric to English are killing me!) Although baby girl "S" has faced and is facing some serious health problems, both appear to be doing well here, and have brought us to a nice even dozen in the Nest.  We have as many babies right now as TLC has ever had, and we're told that the numbers tend to climb around the holidays.  I can't even imagine!  Pictures will be added soon, so check back again for some incredibly adorable babies!  Love and miss you all,

Amanda

The Many Meanings of the Word "Now" and other insights into South African Culture:

If I were to ask you what the meaning of the word "now" was, you would look at me like I was crazy.  Now means now.  As in right now, in the present moment, or currently.  At least, that's what I thought now meant!  That word has taken on a whole new meaning here in South Africa, and I think it's pretty interesting.  You see, "now" doesn't mean what you and I think it means.  It is most often used to mean something like "later" or "in a bit."  For example; I was in the kitchen today, and Brendan, a South African man who works in the office, was talking on the phone.  He said "Yeah, I'll be there now."  What's wrong with that statement?  Well, in American English, you can't be somewhere now if you're speaking in the future tense.  It just wouldn't make sense.  I was at the hospital the other day, and I called to tell them that the baby and I were finished, and were ready to be fetched.  (side note; you don't get "rides" places here.  You get a lift to somewhere, or you get fetched from somewhere, but if you ask for a ride, you get a funny look.)  Vivienne, another South African woman who works in the office, said to me "I'm there now to get you."  My small American self couldn't figure out what she meant!  Was she already outside waiting for me?  If so, why?  I pondered for a bit, and finally realized that what she had meant was "I'm coming to get you" or something like that.  Are you confused yet?  Yeah, me too, but it gets better.  Because the word "now" has lost its meaning, what word do you use when something needs to be done "now" as in "at this very moment?"  Well, in that case you would say "now now."  Yes, if you say the word twice, then it means what we Americans understand it to mean, more or less.  For example, Viv would say "Amanda, that baby needs to be fed now-now," and she would mean that I should feed the baby.  Got that down?  There's still more.  There's a particularly South African phrase that drives me crazy.  You might have guessed that it involves the word "now."  This phrase is "just now," and is technically supposed to mean "right now" or "getting right on it" or "soon."  What it means in real life is "when I get around to it, and there are no guarantees that I'll get around to it anytime in the near future"  As in " the builder says that he will fix the leaks in the roof of your cottage just now."  I've been told that I shouldn't hope for anything sooner than December.  As you can guess from the evolution of the word "now", no one around here is in much of a hurry to do anything.  It's so different from home, where everyone rushes around with to-do lists and 87 things on their mind at any one time.  Things are slower here, which is both nice and frustrating.  It's frustrating to feel that things just don't get done.  It feels inefficient much of the time.  But the people seem so much more relaxed, and like they take time to enjoy things a bit more.  This is something that I enjoy much of the time, but it takes some getting used to!  So there's my insight into South African culture.  I have no doubt that there will be more to come!

Email Woes

Hello everyone!  I just wanted to let you know that our email here at TLC has been down for the past 10 days or so, so that's why none of you have heard from me.  We're connected again for the moment, but we never know how long it'll last.  We've been having extremely frequent power outages (either a power line goes down in bad weather, or the power station cuts our power as a sort of "power sharing" thing, or someone steals our power lines), and everytime the power goes out, so does our email server!  So for the moment, I am connected again, so keep the emails coming!  I received at least some of the emails that you all sent to me, and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can.  If you're concerned that I didn't get an email from you, go ahead and send it again, and I'll probably get it this time.  All my love,

Amanda

Raindrops are falling on my head...

Well, I moved into a new cottage this week.  They've just completed construction on new volunteer cottages so that they have enough room to house all of the volunteers, and I go to be in the first group to move into the first new cottage!  Sounds exciting, huh?  Well, it is very nice, but we discovered on our first night in there that it leaks when it rains.  A lot.  Rain came flooding in under the front door, in the windows and down the walls.  It would have been pretty funny watching us running around trying to sop up all of the puddles with the 4 towels that we had!  But we're settling in, and starting to get adjusted to our new house.  Now if only the rest of the furniture would arrive, we would be living in style!  I'm sure they posted pictures of it on the TLC website at TLC.org.za, so you should go check it out. 

 

Things are still going well here.  I really feel like I'm getting settled and adjusted and I absolutely love the work.  I've spent a couple more days taking babies to the hospital for various appointments, which is always an interesting experience.  Other than that, I spend nearly every day in the nursery taking care of the babies.  We're getting many new volunteers, so things are beginning to run more smoothly, and we're really starting to come together as a team.  That said, I'm still feeling pretty homesick sometimes.  It's been nice to be in contact with people, so keep the emails coming!  I LOVE hearing about things at home! 

 

We have two adoptions coming up next week, which leaves me with mixed emotions.  First, it is SO exciting knowing that these little people are getting a family!  I was holding one of the little guys last night, and I was thinking about what a privledge it is, to be the one holding him and snuggling him and loving him.  Somewhere halfway around the world, there's a mommy and a daddy who are dreaming of this baby boy.  They've seen only a picture, and they're wondering how he's doing and what he's like and they're already starting to fall in love.  And next week, we get to place these little boys, who we have loved, into the arms of their parents, and they get to start a brand new life.  It's just an amazing thought.  But then it is also sad, because these boys are going to leave a hole here at TLC for me.  New babies will come to take their place, because there are so many who need the care that we can provide.  But I love these boys.  I can't imagine the nursery without them.  On that note, I have to get back to the babies!  Love and miss you all!  Blessings,

Amanda

Instant Coffee and other such things

I'm just sitting in front of the computer right now, drinking a cup of instant coffee.  Why, you're probably asking yourself, is a self professed Starbucks-loving coffee-snob drinking instant coffee?  Well, here in Africa, where the best coffee in the world is grown, one can hardly find a real coffee maker, let alone actual coffee.  Hard to believe, isn't it?  Everyone here drinks instant and appears to like it.  Don't worry, I've formulated a plan for how to deal with my deprivation.  

 

Things are going well here.  I'm really feeling comfortable in the nursery and with all of our babies.  It's hard to believe how much, in such a short time, I have come to love them.  And yes, I do have a favorite.  He's an adorable little guy with huge eyes and wild, curly hair.  Love him!  There are a couple of babies who are sick with pnumonia right now, including my guy, so if you could say a few prayers for a quick recovery, that would be great. 

 

I've made several more hospital visits since that first one, and am still finding them interesting and challenging.  For one thing, it's nice to get off the Farm!  All of the doctors here are at hospitals, so these appointments aren't anything serious, just things like x-rays and audiology appointments, usually for adoption paperwork. The people have all been extremely nice and helpful, and although hospital visits tend to take several hours longer than they would at home, it's nice to spend some one-on-one time with the babies. 

 

It's still strange to be here on the farm 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  We all try to get a "lift" out of here on our day off, because you just feel so trapped sometimes!  I miss my own car terribly, although driving here doesn't look like an experience I'd enjoy.  I'm really feeling settled and comfortable, but am also still missing home terribly.  Homesickness is just no fun!  Okay, I need to head to work, but I will update again soon.  Love you all, miss you all, and you should all email me sometime!

Another week, another update

Hello!  It feels like it's been awhile since I posted an update, but things around here have been very busy, which I'm beginning to learn is the constant state of being around here.  I'm still loving the work that I do, but also still missing home a lot.  That's the price you pay for having amazing family and friends, I guess!  But every day gets a little easier, and I'm truly enjoying the time I spend in the nursery.  We got a new baby, so we're up to 37.  We've reached our full capacity, so we'll have to wait until one or more of the babies get adopted before we're able to accept any more.  It's amazing to walk from room to room in the nursery and to see so many tiny people being cared for and loved.  We've had several new volunteers come (yes, I'm considered one of the more "experienced" volunteers with three whole weeks under my belt!), and it's true what they say about teaching being a great way to learn.  I feel like, because I've had to teach new people what to do, I truly realize how much I know about what I'm doing here.  

 

Because life has settled into a bit of a routine from day-to-day, I thought I'd give you a picture of what my day looks like.  This is going to be rather long, so if you're just looking for a concise update, feel free to skip the end.  I keep getting questions from some people about what I do all day, so this is for you all.  I'll be updating again tomorrow with some stories about some of the babies, and also about the hospital trip that I'm taking tomorrow.  I sincerely hope that this finds you well, and don't forget to email me!  I can't always check the comments on my blog, so if you want me to see what you're saying to me, send it in an email!  Love you all, and missing you, too!

 

 

First, I'll give you a picture of how things are divided and what they look like.  The babies are divided by age and developmental level into different nurseries.  The prem babies and newborns are in the Nest, which is a small room lined with bassinets.  It's always warm and cozy, and is probably the most peaceful place on the whole farm.  There are currently 11 nest babies.  The main nursery has the 3-6 month old babies who are still receiving bottles every four hours, called Fledgies, and is also shared with the Grubs, who are the babies that are beginning to eat solids.  They range in age from 6 to 15 months.  The main nursery has two sleeping areas, one for the Fledgies and one for the Grubs, and also a large, open playroom.  There are 6 Fledgies and 12 Grubs right now.  The older toddlers, called the Creepies, have their own bedroom and a separate playroom.  There are 7 Creepies who are between 15 months to our oldest, who is almost 4.  Because there is such a big age range, we're about to restructure the groups and create one for the toddlers between 12 and 24 months.

 

I'm usually scheduled to start my day at 6am.  I generally roll out of bed, throw on jeans and a t-shirt, and head into the nursery.  It's still chilly in the mornings and the evenings, so I usually wear a sweatshirt for the walk to the nursery.  I'm still spending most of my time with the Fledgies and Grubs, which is great because they're my favorite group.  There is usually one person assigned to Fledgies, another to the Grubs, and another to as a "flier," who assists whoever needs help at the time.  The babies are just starting to wake up around the time I get there in the morning, so as they wake up, they get their "nappies" changed and get a morning bottle.  If there is time, we'll start giving baths before breakfast, which is around 8.  Mealtimes tend to be hectic with the Grubs, and usually requires the assistance of anyone within earshot.  The babies are all hungry, and each baby has a pretty specific diet depending on how old they are, how well they eat, and their own personal dietary needs (we have a few who are allergic to dairy so they get soymilk, etc.).  The babies are lined up in seats on the floor, and each volunteer tries to feed as many as they can at one time.  It's pretty funny, really, but can also be really stressful with all of the noise!  After breakfast, the Grubs need to be bathed.  We try to get baths done by snacktime, which is around 10, and is immediately followed by naptime.  This gives us around an hour and a half to get 12 babies bathed in one of the 2 tubs that we have.  If we get done early, then we start on Fledgie baths, although they can be bathed during the Grubs naptime.  During naptime, the kitchen staff provides us with tea (a fabulous tradition, which I intend to bring home with me!), so I might have time to grab a quick cup of tea and a snack before I straighten the nursery up in preparation for lunchtime.  At this point, I might be rotated around to spend an hour or two in the Nest, which simply entails feeding tiny babies every 3 hours, changing nappies, and giving baths.  I find the Nest to be the least stressful of the nurseries, so it's somtimes a nice break to be scheduled in the Nest!  Then I usually head back to the main nursery and the Fledgies and Grubs.  They all get their nappies changed after their nap, and then lunchtime is around 12:30.  Once again, mealtime is crazy and chaotic, but it usually calms down significantly for the afternoon.  There's another naptime around 2, and then they wake up for afternoon tea around 3:30.  The older babies actually drink tea!  We brew weak Rooibis tea, lightly sweetened, and they LOVE it.  It cracks me up!  I might get sent back to the Nest for a few hours in the afternoon, or rarely to the Creepies, where the main job is just to play with the kids.  With the Creepies, we often take them outside to play on the playground or go on a walk.  But usually, I just say with my Fledgies and Grubs.  We have some freetime in the afternoon, which is great for working with individual babies on sitting up or crawling or reaching for toys.  It's probably my favorite time of day, because we get out a bunch of mats to put the babies on, and have time to just play with them.  It's good for us and it's good for the babies!  Dinner is aroun 5, and the 5 o'clock hour has been dubbed "happy hour" here, because it's just plain loud and chaotic.  The Grubs all scream because they're hungry and we can't feed them fast enough, and the Fledgies all scream because it's loud.  It's organized chaos, and everyone is ready for bed when it's done!  We change them all into PJs, give them their evening bottles, and put them all in bed around 7.  Believe it or not, that's always a very quiet time of the night-they all just lay down and go to sleep!  And then I'd be off the schedule around 7.  During the day, we usually get a one or two hour break, so in all, we're currently working 11 hour days.  Mealtimes for adults are rather unformal.  We usually just grab a plate when the breakfast/lunch/dinner bell rings and bring it back to the nursery to eat when we have a spare second.  At the end of the day, we all head back to our cottages and occasionally watch a movie or gather around a bonfire, but we're usually so tired that we just go to bed!  Okay, I think that's about all for this update.  Once again, I'll be updating again tomorrow, so check back!

Send me a note...

Hey there!  Just a quick note to ask you all to send me a quick email if you have a chance.  I can't access my email address book, so I don't have any email addresses to send to.  Love you!

Amanda 

Hello everyone!  First of all, I just want to thank all of you who wrote me emails yesterday.  They were all so kind, and it was awesome to hear from you.  I was in desperate need of some encouragement, so thanks a lot. 

Yesterday was a really interesting day here, so I think I'll tell you about that.  I have just moved from dayshift to nightshift for a week.  I started by worked from 6 am to 10am on Tuesday, getting the Grubs up and ready and fed their breakfast.  I want you to imagine that you are in a room with 12 hungry, fussy infants and young toddlers who all want to be fed immediately, and then imagine that there are two of you to feed them all.  Yeah-meal times are really hectic!  They'll all be crying at once, and then they start the younger babies crying-you wouldn't believe the noise!  Anyways.  I got off at 10 so that I could sleep and prepare for my night on nightshift.  Of course, having just slept for the night, I only managed to get about a two hour nap in.  Nightshift begins at 7 pm, and as I was heading in for nightshift, I was asked if I would possibly be able to take one of the babies to the hospital to get a CT scan done.  3 kiddos had to go to the hospital for testing, and they had no one to take them without pulling people off dayshift, and as I've mentioned, we're already short staffed.  So at 6 am, after just getting off nightshift, Eric, who has been here for a year or so, Penny, who also just got here, and I loaded up the 3 kids and left.  Eric dropped me off at Jo'berg General, while he and Penny headed to another hospital, and I was on my own with a 3 week old preemie baby to find the CT scan.  The hospital is HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!  I found my way to CT fairly easily, although I attracted quite a lot of attention.  Some of you probably remember that before I left, I was wondering what it would feel like to be a part of the minority.  I felt so conspicuous,  especially carrying a tiny black baby!  Everyone was really nice, but I got so many comments on how tiny she was, and many people asked me whose baby she was.  It was a fascinating experience!  I think she's officially my favorite baby here, just because we spent to much time together yesterday!  The scan went well, I waited a few hours for the results, and then went to wait out front for my ride back to the farm.  Brendan arrived around 12, and I got back just before 1.  Although there were several times when I felt lost and confused and completely out of my element, I'm really glad I went.  After I finished, I was thinking about how nice it was to feel independent and capable!  At home I take those thins for granted, but here it's nice to be reminded.  Moving on.   Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep yesterday, and was exhausted for nightshift last night!  I spent most of the night in the nest with the tiny newborns and preemie babies.  It was such a neat experience!  They're all so tiny and sweet!  I'll have to send you some pictures of just how small and cute these babies are! 

I'm going to end there for now.  I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I'm not having much luck with that.  Love you all, and miss you terribly!

 

Amanda

I'm back in contact!

Hey everyone!  I wasn't gettin any of the emails that were being sent to me, but I appreciate that you tried!  The problem is all sorted out now, so feel free to (in fact, PLEASE!) email me now!  The address is, once again, amanda@tlc.org.za.  I'm going to post another update tomorrow about my goings on, so be sure to check back!  Love you all and miss you!

Amanda

correction

Hey-so I was wrong about my email address.  It's amanda@tlc.org.za.  That last part's pretty important or it won't get to me.  Sorry!

I'm here!!!!

Hello all!  Yes, I made it safely, and I've been here for over a week now.  My email account just got up and running, so I'm finally back in touch.  If you'd like to email me, my address is amanda@tlc.org. 

I'd like to give you a little picture of what I've been up to.  I jumped right into work when I arrived, so I really haven't seen much of South Africa yet, but here's what I've been doing;

Right now, TLC has 36 babies and toddlers.  There are 8 creepy crawlies, which are the kids between about 18 months and 4, 18 fledgies and grubs, which are babies (developmentally) between 2-4 months (fledgies) and 5-15 months (grubs), and the rest of them are in the nest, which is for newborns and premature babies. I've spent nearly all of my time with the fledgies and the grubs.  We're so short on volunteers that quite often there are two of us taking care of all 18 babies, which includes bathing them all once a day, feeding the little ones every four hours, and the big ones their meals and bottles, changing "nappies" (diapers) what feels like a million times a day, and all of the other miscelaneous things that go into taking care of babies...not to mention trying to keep the mobile ones from stepping on the little ones!  I usually work from about 6 am, when they start waking up, till 7 or 8 pm when they all go to bed.  Yeah, they're long days and I'm really tired!  It took me a couple of days to get adjusted to the time change (I would wake up in the middle of the night absolutely unable to fall asleep even though I was exhausted.), so I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm so tired.

The babies are adorable!  I know all of the creepies, grubs and fledgies by name now.  I havn't worked in the nest yet, but I'm in there for two hours later today.  They're all just so sweet and cute and wonderful, although I don't get to spend nearly as much time as I had thought cuddling with them-there is simply just too much to be done!  Hopefully I can get some pictures up sometime soon-then you can see for yourself how cute they are!

I've been doing pretty well.  I havn't gotten sick, which they say is pretty good for my first week here.  I am, on the other hand, pretty darned homesick, so if you are the praying type, I'd appreciate some prayers for that.  People keep telling me that it gets better after the first month, but right now, a year sounds like a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time! 

I miss you all, I miss home, and I think of you guys all the time.  I hope and pray that you are well. 

Please, feel free to email me!  I'd love to hear from home!

Amanda

On Being a Hobbit

You all recall that my mom was telling me to "be like a turtle," right?
Well, now my dad has taken to calling me a hobbit. No, they aren't
encouraging me to have an identity crisis, we're just a creative family.
I'm assuming that most of you are familiar with J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the
Rings series, so you know what I'm talking about. Hobbits live in the
Shire. They love the Shire. They're homebodies who don't see the point of
leaving the land that they love. But every now and then, a hobbit will find
within himself the longing to go on an adventure. You all remember Bilbo
and Frodo Baggins, don't you? Quite the adventures they went on! Slaying
dragons and saving the world from evil. I feel a kind of affinity for
Hobbits, probably because they're small, tiny little people, and I feel a
kinship with them. : ) (Although, as my dad would say, I don't have hairy
feet.) So I'm a hobbit setting off on an adventure. And I love the Shire,
and when it's time for my adventure to end, I will be so happy to return to
my home.
The hardest part of being a hobbit setting off on an adventure is that you
actually have to leave home. Yeah, it seems obvious, and one would think
that I would have thought of this before now. And I did, but theory is far
different from reality, and the reality of leaving…well, it sucked.
I've been sitting here for an hour trying to come up with all of the right
words, but they're just not coming to me, so I think I'm just going to end
by saying that I love you all, miss you all, and appreciate your support.
The next update will be from South Africa!
Hobbit Out

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Hairspray and Injustice

I bumped into God today while I was watching “Hairspray.” Don’t get me wrong-I don’t usually have God experiences while watching movie-musicals, but sometimes God speaks to us in really weird ways. And I have a weakness for musicals, what can I say? So you want to know how I found God while watching annoyingly perky people sing and dance? (side note-the movie rocks. Go see it) If you’ve never seen the movie or the musical, you should know that it’s set in 1962, and revolves around the racial integration of an afternoon dance show. It’s about the acceptance of people who fall outside of the norm. In one scene, the characters are marching on a TV studio, demanding “integration not segregation.” One of the characters, the incredibly popular Link Larkin, knows that segregation is wrong, but he has a hard time acting on what he believes. He’s very concerned with what people will think of him, and with what the effects of standing up for what he believes will be on his future. He eventually gets to the point where he realizes that he cannot stand by and do nothing. To borrow a term from literary analysis, he reaches a crisis point, where he must decide what he is made of, and must act upon that decision. And he does the right thing. He stands up for those who are at a disadvantage. He pushes at boundaries so hard that they topple. His character reaches a resolution in the following lines: (these are paraphrased. I didn’t memorize the whole movie!)
TRACY: Link, they love you
LINK: Not after they see what I’m about to do
LINK grabs the hand of LITTLE INEZ, a young black girl, and pulls her onto the dance floor. After they finish:
CORNY: The Corny Collins Show is officially, now and forever, integrated!

As I was watching, I was thinking of what it must have been like at that time in our history. What must if have been like to be someone who was a part of a march? Can you imagine? Can you imagine what it would be like to want change so badly that you feel the need to physically move, to make your presence known, to literally push at conventional boundaries? Just think of what it would have been like to be surrounded by a mass of humanity, all seeking the same thing. Put yourself there; to your right is your friend, who came with you because you both believe the same thing. To your left is someone who lives on the other side of town. You have nothing in common with this person, except that you’re both literally and figuratively going in the same direction. You want the same thing, and you want it so badly that you put yourself in harm’s way to make a statement. In front of you, behind you, all people who come from wildly divergent backgrounds, and yet all converging to face a common opponent.

I think we all imagine that we would be right there on the front lines of the battle. We all think that we would have been on the picket lines, standing firmly on what we believe. We all wonder how anyone could have seen the discrimination and accepted it. We know that we would have done the right thing. We couldn’t have stood silently by; it’s just not in us to do so. We would have seen the injustice and done something about it. Isn’t that what you think?

And then I ran right into cold hard reality. We’re not faced with blatant discrimination each and every day. It’s not in our backyard, or in our schools, or on the streets (the veracity of these statements is debatable. I’ll get to that later.) We face a different battle, and we’re nowhere near the frontlines. There’s raging inequality, and we’re not marching anywhere. Earlier this week, I was looking for some information on a slideshow I was putting together about my trip to Africa. I found some facts that truly shook my world. I’d like to share some of them with you.

-Six billion people populate the world. 1 billion of those live in absolute poverty, meaning that they live on less than 1 dollar a day. Absolute poverty is defined as the inability to provide for basic needs such as food, shelter, adequate drinking water, and education.
-There are 850 million people in the world who are hungry and malnourished. Over half of those are children.
-Malnutrition kills more than 6 million children every year.
-30,000 children die per day of causes related to poverty and lack of adequate resources. That’s one child every 3 seconds, or 20 children every minute, or more than 10 million children every year.
-Worldwide, there are 40 million people living with HIV/AIDS. AIDS currently kills more than 2.9 million people per year. That’s one person every 11 seconds.
-Only 1 in 6 people who needs AIDS drugs (antiretroviral treatment) gets it. Only 1 in 10 children who needs the drugs receives it.
-The geographical region of Sub-Saharan Africa is home to only 10% of the world’s population. That’s 600 million people. Over 325 million of those people live in absolute poverty. That’s over half of the population.
-This same region, once again home to 10% of the world’s population, is home to 64% of the people infected by AIDS.
-2 million children in this region are infected with AIDS.
-Currently, 13.4 million children have been orphaned by AIDS. That number is expected to grow to 25 million by the year 2010.
-In some countries, the prevalence of AIDS is as high as 30% of the population.

Do you see the injustice? Do you know, way down deep, how wrong it is? I think, I honestly do, that this is our battle. And we have reached a crisis point. What are we going to do? Are we going to stand up for what we know is right, even if it means that we take some risks? Does it mean that we chose to keep living our lives as they are, or do we align ourselves with people from all different walks of life order to affect change? Where is that mass of humanity, all hoping to affect change, moving in the same direction? Because they had it right, so many years ago, when our nation faced a civil rights crisis. Convention is only overturned when people stand together, and by sheer power of numbers, change the world.
This is a different time. Yeah, some of those old problems have had lasting ramifications. You don’t have to look much farther than inner city schools populated largely by minority students to see that. Race is still in issue in our country. Our past has had a dramatic effect on the present, and will continue to have an effect on the future. There’s no question. But today we have a new battle. We won’t solve it today, and if I’m honest, I can admit that I have no idea where we even begin. But I don’t want to be part of a generation who can just stand by and watch. I want to be a part of a generation that marches forward when faced with oppression. I want to push, as hard as I can, against these massive walls, and I believe that someday, when enough people are pushing with me, that wall will come down. And I think that when walls dividing people come down, Jesus rejoices with us.
And, as the annoyingly perky dancing people said in Hairspray,
There's a dream
In the future
There's a struggle
We have yet to win
Oh, When we win,
I'll give thanks to my god
'Cause I know where I've been

There. No one is still reading this incredibly long rant, but I’m okay with that. God taught me something today while I was sitting in a movie. Crazy. I leave in 10 days. Also crazy. I’m getting ready to go, and feeling pretty good most of the time. Still excited, still anxious. Yeah, I think that’s about it for the day. Goodnight.

Trying to be a turtle...

My mom is always telling my brother, Ryan, to be a turtle. He moves a lot, and what she means is that he should be able to carry his home around on his back like a turtle. I'm having a hard time relating with the turtle. I am not, in any way, shape, or form, a packrat. I LOVE to throw things away. I don't like keeping things that I can't see myself using sometime in the (preferably near) future. However, I'm finding the prospect of packing for an entire year rather daunting. I spent a large portion of the last week shopping. Fun, yes, but rather stressful as well. How the heck do I know what I need to bring for an entire year?!?!?! Did you know that if you wear 5 pairs of pants for a whole year, you would end up wearing each of them 73 times? Does a pair of pants even last that long? I find myself needing to be reminded that I'm not falling of the end of the earth. Yeah-they have clothes in South Africa. They do, indeed, have shampoo in Johannesberg, and lotion, too. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but those are my honest thoughts! I feel much more comfortable having everything I might possibly need with me when I go, because "what if" I need it? Hm...I think I'm having better luck channeling the control freak than the turtle!

I leave in a little under three weeks, and I'm having a hard time believing that the time has passed this quickly. I'm having a good time, hanging out at home with my family, spending some time up at Sonya's house in Louisville. Other than my packing woes, I'm feeling pretty ready to go. Except, of course, when I think about the reality of it, and then I get scared to death. I'm still really excited, and I can't wait to see what TLC is really like. I can't wait to go hold babies and play with little ones! But a year is a long time to be gone, and that's still really overwhelming to me, and sad, too. I get lonely and homesick already just thinking about it. Anyways, I'm trying to really enjoy my time here rather than dwell on the fact that I'm heading off soon! I have my tickets, passport, visa, and insurance all in order. A couple more fairly small things to take care of, and then I really am ready. Other than my continuing quest to be like a turtle, that is!

The picture is of my latest adventures in packing...and an answer to the question everyone keeps asking me! What do to take with you when you leave for a year?

And, just because I like it, a pic of me and Sonya at The Fray concert. Soaking wet, but having a GREAT time!

The beginning...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The beginning...
Hello! This is my first official blog, and a part of me wonders why I'm even posting this. Who wants to read anything about my life? But I'm thinking that this is going to be the easiest way for me to get updates to you, my family and friends, while I'm in South Africa. I figure I might as well start now!

I'm getting really excited about going, although reality is beginning to set in. A year. I'm leaving for a whole year. And then I think about why I'm going, and the babies that I'll have the privledge of caring for, and my arms feel empty. I can't wait to go hold some babies! I know it's going to be a tough year, although I also admit that I have no idea what exactly is in store for me. I struggle with trying to prepare myself for what could be, but also trying not to have too many expectations of what it will be like. I know now matter what, my expectations won't be correct, and I can't be fully prepared.

I feel like I should explain in a little more detail what I'm going to be doing, for those of you who don't know the whole story. Early last fall, I started looking into missions. I knew without a doubt that I wanted to go do orphanage work after I graduated, but I really didn't know how to persue that. I though about returning to Bolivia, where I had spent two months doing missions in the summer of 2005. I loved that experience, but I felt like there were a couple of rather large roadblocks. One of the major ones being my lack of Spanish! In my search, I found an orphanage in South Africa that I absolutely fell in love with. It's called The Love of Christ ministries (TLC) and is located just outside of Johannesburg. I fell in love with their obvious passion for the babies and toddlers that they take in, and their committment to seeing these beloved children of God grow to reach their full potential. I could so clearly see that Christ was working in this ministry, and I wanted to be a part of that. I sent an application in stating that I would like to stay for six months. Within a few weeks, I heard back from TLC. They had received my application, and asked me if I would consider staying for a year rather than six months. If ever I had needed confirmation that I was doing what God wanted me to do, this was it. A green light; I was on the right path.

And so the adventure began. At that point, I still had a year to plan my trip, come up with funding, buy tickets...all that fun stuff. It seemed so far away! And now here I am, with only four weeks left until my September 8 departure (yep...I'm counting down!) It's been a crazy 11 months since then! But I find myself nearing the end of the craziness, and I can hardly believe it. I'm no longer working at Starbucks (no more driving to work at 4am! Yeah!) The girls and I moved out of our house a couple of weeks ago, and we're all adjusting to the new "normal." I'm living at home now, which gives me a chance to hang out with my parents before I go, which is awesome! My funding is all in, and I can hardly believe how blessed I've been. My family and friends have provided such a blessing to me, allowing me to fully finance my trip and also make a donation to TLC. And well before the deadline, too! So here I am. Feeling anxious and excited, and also really ready to spend some quality time here in Colorado before I go.